The waiting game

Well friends, a lot has happened in the last two days, let me recap.

Tuesday, 11 am
I received a call from the oncology office asking if I could be available at 2:15 that afternoon to meet with my new oncology doctor, because they had a cancellation. Yay! Of course I could be available!

Tuesday, 2:15 pm
Mitch and I arrive at the oncology office and immediately I'm blown away by how much older everyone is in the waiting room. Like decades older. This immediately adds to my anxiety but I shove the lump that's in my throat back down to my belly and walk up to the receptionist to check in.

Tuesday, 2:30-3:15 pm
I fill out a ton of paperwork  and commence waiting in the waiting room, which is packed with people. Continue to watch people be called back behind the magical door of mystery while we wait.

Tuesday 3:15-3:45 pm
We are still in the waiting room and now an hour past our appointment time. Mitch and I are both starting to get tense, so we break the tension by playing on snapchat.

Mitch LOVES giraffes, he actually gasped out loud when he found this filter.

Tuesday, 3:45 pm
It's my turn to enter the magical door of mystery only to discover a scale, blood pressure cuff and several exam rooms. After doing the usual height, weight and measure, we are put in an exam room to, you guessed it, WAIT SOME MORE.

Tuesday 4:00ish pm
Jay, Mitch's brother, challenges me to look in Mitch's ears with the otoscope. Never one to turn down a challenge, ear check complete!

As I mentioned before, there is a lot of science that I will explain in a future post about breast cancer and how it is treated, but for the sake of this post, here is a very high level summary of what we know and what we learned.
  • We still need one more test back to determine what chemo plan I will need to kill this unwelcomed visitor in my left breast. We took the opportunity at this appointment to briefly discuss each plan
  • I will definitely need chemo prior to having surgery, so I will need a port (a little button that is inserted under my skin that feeds in my vein to allow for easier IV infusions of chemo) and an echo (an ultrasound of my heart, because chemo drugs are hard on heart tissue so they want to make sure my ticker is good and strong before they poison it with medications). This should happen sometime this week.
  • We will follow up on Monday with the Nurse Practitioner to discuss what chemo plan we are going with. After some baseline labs, she will provide us with a ton of education on what medications I will receive, how often, side effects, etc.
  • Once I have my port and insurance has approved my plan, I will get my first infusion, so we are likely looking at that happening sometime next week.

We finally left the appointment around 4:45 and headed home to pick up the girls. Honestly, it was a whirlwind of a day and I was left feeling unsettled for most of the night, I didn't connect with my oncologist like I had hoped, probably due to the fact that we waited 2 hours to see her. She comes very highly recommended so I'm going to set aside our first impressions and hope that our next encounter is a bit more positive.

The good news is I rounded out the night talking with Sarah, my bestie from college, for an hour an a half, a lot about cancer, our kids and a little bit about medical marijuana. It made me laugh, it helped me vent and it gave me a positive end to my night, which is what I really needed. 

Photo stolen from Facebook circa 2010-- don't worry, we still look this young and rested.
Wednesday, 10 am
Oncology office calls, port and echo (sounds like a fine wine or something) are scheduled for tomorrow at 11 am/2 pm. Sweet, let's get this over with.  I text Mitch (he is in training all week for work) and start to figure out a plan.

Wednesday, 12:30 pm
Mitch calls me back and we decide that he should attend training tomorrow and I can have a friend stay with me for placement and take me home (they give me the good drugs so I can't be trusted to drive or be home alone for at least 12 hours). I get everything lined up and we are good to go.

Wednesday, 4 pm
My phone rings, caller is UNAVAILABLE, which means two things, daycare or doctors. I tentatively answer the phone to find out that Evelyn has a fever and cant go to daycare tomorrow.

Wednesday, 4:01 pm

Wednesday, 4:30 pm
I wrap things up in my office to go pick up our kid, who looks and acts completely fine (seriously, this kid gets kicked out of daycare ALL THE TIME, she's a master manipulator). The older one on the other hand has a massive tantrum on the way out of daycare because she doesn't want to leave. I bribe her with Shopkins and get her in the van.

Wednesday, 7:00 pm
We get tomorrow figured out, crisis averted for now. Enjoy playing with the girls and take this time to laugh with them.

And now, here I am, Wednesday, 10:30, summing up my day for you. Tomorrow, I will take my first big step in transitioning to full on cancer patient, which really blows. But, I gotta play the cards I've been dealt. There will be a time when I will look back on this and remember it as  simple bump in the road, but for now, it feels like a mountain. At least I've got a good crew to push me to the top. Much love and sweet dreams!


  1. LOVE the video with the play doh tower. We will thinking of you & praying for you today dear sister. Love you.

  2. LOVE the video with the play doh tower. We will thinking of you & praying for you today dear sister. Love you.

  3. Let's roll up our sleeves and get to work. There is a down on the other side of the mountain. We will be on that side before you know it. Love you.

  4. Your real and raw, and I love that. Prayers for today! Xoxox -Abbey

  5. So proud of your courage, stamina, and determination through all of this, Lindsay. Keep your chin up, and know we are all praying for you. Thank you for the update, photos, video, and all. We so appreciate being able to catch glimpses of how these days are playing out for you, Mitch, Kate, and Evelyn. My love and support to you all!